Write

I want to write. I want to write beautiful things. Metaphors and smile's swirling around the page like a ballerina. I want it to hit you. I want you to understand. I want you to be able to relate. So I don't feel alone. I want you to see me for me. Not a page stained with random rambles. I want to be able to change the world with just a sound, noun or word. I want you to feel what I am feeling. I need you to understand. I need you. I don't handle rejection well, okay that's a lie. I don't handle rejection at all. That's why it's easier to write down my thoughts than say them. I'm able to hide the blushes when I see you read a sentences. I can hide that oh godforsaken feeling of "why did I show you this". This is me, things I would never dare to say. Laid out there, blossoming from its cold darkness formally known as my closed off mind. I bottle things up, bottle them up so deep somewhere. I can't even remember if it happened. It just so surreal. No it couldn't have happened to me, it happened to someone else. Faint memories are just that, I'm watching myself through someone else's eyes. I need to understand, I feel lost. Hopelessly lost and I'm scared, I want to go back home. The curtains are slowly closing, my tears have dried up, my voice fading. Who is this? What did you turn me into? The person bowing in front of this people isn't me. I no longer want to write, I need to write so that one day, I realize that you're really me. A part of me. I want to write, so you know how it feels like. To fight with yourself constantly over the same soul. I feel like there are two minds in one body. I want to write, to tell you to back up, leave me alone, disappear anything. I want to write so you know what you're doing to me.