Cows

Okay, this may sound strange and it should be up there on that imaginary list of phobias underlined, in bold with a big star next to it. I have the biggest fear of cows. Yes, I admit it. No, I'm not ashamed okay maybe a bit because I don't sound like the usual warrior that I am. Okay, I lied I'm not really a warrior, maybe one of those little medicine woman. Okay Okay! I am properly the mad old woman with scary stories and myths. But I properly wouldn't mind that. I think they're quite funny and to have people listening to my every word, sounds very cool. Anyway back to cow's. Everything about them, is just. Arghh! The mere thought of it and I feel faint. The thing that scares me so much apart from the fact that they're just plain scary. They stare at you with this blank expression, God knows what they are thinking! I mean with a lion or something else at least you know what it might do to you. With a cow there is no way of knowing, it just stares and chews grass and stares. I don't like the way they stare as well, they look as if they're judging you. And that "moo" sound, what is up with that? Honestly, it's unnatural. They tilt their head up when they say it, so it just looks weird and a bit demonic. Actually it looks extremely demonic.

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The way I discovered my fear for cows was in the worst way imaginable. I signed up for Duke of Edinburgh. Ahh, I remember that stupid grin on my face when I attended the meetings, the last thing on my mind was the possibility that we may stumble upon a cow. Oh, and yes we did. Loads of times! It was torture, and the cows in the country side they're like HUMONGOUS. Like the one's you would see in the X-files or in the X-men. Honestly I'm not exaggerated, okay maybe a tinny tiny bit but they look like mutants. I got so scared at one point that I held my friends arm so tight I actually made her bleed. I have never begged for anyone's forgiveness like I did that day, I felt so bad. But at that moment that was the last thing on my mind, fear just bitch-slapped me across the face. And my mind is not one bit faithful, it just abandoned me right there and then. All I remember was being in a field in the middle of nowhere and hundreds, okay 20 cows there, in the same field as me. Just staring and omg, my heart sank, they just kept on coming closer. I mean come on, take a hint. I'm near to tears and they think it is an invitation for some cow loving. I think not. And the worst thing was I refused to move so I just stood there like a moron, frozen holding my friends arm so tightly. My eyes look as if they would pop out of my head like one of those glasses you can get for Halloween. Once my trail of though came back, I noticed I was behind a fence and the cows couldn't get me. And since then, let's just say. I don't get why people always say how us urban kids don't go to country side. Surely it should be obvious.