I cry when I'm alone because being vulnerable reveals us, I whisper things that really are on my mind but if you ask me what I just said I'll deny it. I look at people for acceptance because I've rejected myself. When I close my eyes, it is not because there's something in my eye even though I'll convince you otherwise. It's because I can't deal with reality. When my laugh fills the classroom, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry. I won't tell you when I'm upset, or if I'm angry. I'll just smile it off and change the topic. Why? Because I'm scared if I told you, I don't know when to stop. I'm like a vulcano ready to errupt. Kept these emotions hiding for too long, so I smile and laugh harder than normal to ensure they stay hidden. Because you don't realize how much I miss you, seconds past, minutes, hours, days, years but that feeling never leaves. It haunts my every move, word, tear, step, smile. Breaths down my neck whenever I close my eyes. Torments every dream. You might be thinking why don't I just tell you? Because it isn't fair on you. I can tell you feel the exact way or sometime even worse. It clouds the athmosphere whenever we speak. I know you love to pretend to be thick skinned and that nothing hurts you, I know that this is not the case. I won't tell you because I don't want to be the reason for the pain. Instead I'll sniff all the tears back in, shove the words back into my throat and close my mouth with a key. I'll do this everyday untill we are at a place where we can be completely honest, when we are together. Cause I'll take a life time of pain to ensure you don't feel an ounce of it. But...I..Miss..You..
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What? Oh nothing, I didn't even say something!
