Goodbye

I've made up my mind, once and for all. I've given up hope, honestly I'm completely worn out. I feel like ,you know when you've been in a bath for way too long, and your fingers become all pruned up. Well that's the best way I can describe this "friendship". The longer I keep on this charade, the more its going to hurt or change me. Clearly I don't want either to happen. So the only thing we can do is to part. Because we're both at fault here, and I'll put my hands straight up to that. I shouldn't have carried you along for so long. I should have been more open and honest about my feelings, but I didn't. Instead I fooled you into thinking everything is okay, when it isn't. And for that I'm sorry. I'm even more sorry because I'm carrying on the charade until we finish school. I keep convincing myself it's because I don't want our mutual friends feeling uncomfortable. But to be honest I'm a bit of a coward cause I have not got the slightest idea on how you might react. Same way, I didn't know that you was going to hurt me. I have picture many different scenarios on how I'm going to tell you. If only you knew. Realistically I know not even one of those scenarios will come true, it would be too easy. Life is never easy. Hopefully we can look back at this and maybe learn something at least. I know you'll hate me and we'll lose touch. Because your the type of person who would hold a grudge. But I want you to know, it wasn't easy. Which shows I did, do still care about you. And I'll treasure our memories. But sadly the bad moments outweigh the good. Leaving me here in this cold room, waving goodbye to a soon to be old friend..